January 2011
14 posts
Dave: Alright, sir, I understand you don’t want to buy any toner. But, are you circumsized? Nick: The girls got Chamblee’d in your car this week. Melvin (fascinated, looking at his screen): Look, that is an erect micro-penis. What would you even do with that? Melvin: Is there such thing as a macro-clitoris? Dave: Yes, it is also called a micro-penis. Melvin: I think I’m...
Jan 30th
yeah, he's an organizational consultant
Adam: Hey, listen, drugs are bad, mmmkay? Jennifer: I don’t do drugs, Adam. Adam: Well. Maybe you should start.
Jan 28th
Me: Ok, I’m gonna send you some recipes to cook food. Alex: Alright, just remember: I can’t read, I can’t measure things, and I can’t follow directions.
Jan 27th
“Let me tell you, it is way easier to sell Quill than it is to sell Jesus.”
– Josiah Adams, the married former minster/Quill representative who drives a Ford Taurus
Jan 19th
midatlantic
making a reservation Any other specific requests for your reservation? “I’m half retarded and my girlfriend’s a bitch, can you put us near the bathroom?” - Pollard
Jan 17th
“I wish I had a hat like that and a business meeting to interrupt.”
– Gabby (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8V8tMK68M7U)
Jan 17th
Kyle: i get to be a supervisor at the zoo. Kyle: that means the animals do whatever i say
Jan 15th
“I use jokes.”
– me and Will
Jan 15th
St. Louis: The Beginning
Cat (on the phone): We saw the house, we fell in love with the house… Dave: We had sex with the house! Cat: We had sex with the house. … My aunt says, “What??” Dave: It comes after falling in love!
Jan 15th
welcome back, Grubby
Gabby:  that reminded me of Dr. Horrible me:  what? me:  haha Gabby:  when Cpt. Hammer is like “I hear its better the 2nd time, I hear you get to do the weiiiiiiiiird stuff” Gabby:  and then the chorus is like “we do the weird stuff!” Gabby:  hahaha Gabby:  sorry, I’m a dork “First a hiccup, now a burp. It’s too much to handle!” Gabby:  we’d...
Jan 15th
Will (to Pollard): Wanna wife swap? …. Pollard (whispered): She likes sex. Just a hint.
Jan 9th
Will: I have a morality boner and I want to stick it in your morality anal vagina. Pollard: … And then I showed her my TIE Fighter… Wink.
Jan 9th
Will: It would depend on what she’s humming. Like, if it was the theme to Bambi, that’s just a boner killer. Will: They only take very small rocks from the Grand Canyon.
Jan 6th
“We adopted a family on facebook. Apparently you can do that! Just click...”
– Dave
Jan 6th